seven things i am not (no matter how hard i try):
- i am not a girly girl. i don't paint my nails (i usually don't even have any nails). i'm not much good at decorating. i don't wear pink. i don't find wedding or baby shower games all that amusing (except when i win, which i did today--twice--though once was admittedly a very admirable team effort). i was never much good at ballet. i'll confess to liking dressing up once in a while, but i'd rather do it to go to work or go out to dinner with my husband than to go to a girl party. no matter how much i'd like it to, "feminine" will never describe me.
- i am not a sunscreen-wearer. i have never been much of a that-will-never-happen-to-me-because-i'm-too-young kind of person, but when it comes to sun exposure, i am. i blame it on growing up under sun-deprived conditions. and with a mom who is a sunbather and taught me how to do it. i'm waiting for them (whoever they are) to change their minds about sun exposure being bad for you, just like they seem to do with every other piece of health advice. (after all, look at all that vitamin d i'm making!) but i don't think they ever will. regardless, no matter how much i try to convince myself, i don't think i'll ever give up a tan. (and even worse, i think luke looks so cute with a tan, too!)
- i am not a good housekeeper. another thing left over from my childhood: my messy room has morphed into a disgracefully messy house. and my poor mom tried so hard, too. yes, i'll "make the fake house" (anybody love raymond, other than meredith and me?) for you when you come over, but it'll never really look like that when you're not around. no matter how much i wish, i will never be martha stewart (or my mom, for that matter.) can't do it.
- i am not an early riser. it sounds like such a good idea: get up early, before everyone else, have some quiet time, start the day on the right foot. i always start the day on the wrong foot, the wrong side of the bed--no matter how long i've slept. always have. no matter how many times i try (and try and try i have), i will never become a morning person. i'll continue to envy you being one, though.
- i am not a healthy eater. i like junk food. enough said. no matter how much i try to convince myself, vegetables just don't taste good.
- i am not predictable. back when i was the kind of person who studied literature, i might have described myself as mercurial. which i like the sound of much better than inconsistent or temperamental or moody. i am all over the map. i haven't--i don't think!--always been this way, though. i think i remember being reliable, dependable, and trustworthy. i think i remember being sharp, even, maybe back in those literature-studying days. a good friend, a good employee, a good family member, a good leader--i'm pretty sure someone might have used those words to describe me once upon a time. no matter how hard i try, though, i can't seem to figure out how to get that back. not yet, anyhow. but i'm not giving up.
- i am not artistic. man, i'd like to be. i'd like to have an eye for photography, a sense of color, an attention to detail. i'd love to be able to create something--anything--beautiful. i've dabbled in various things, but i just don't have it. i'm afraid i don't even know what it is. no matter how much i try, i'll never be an artist. or an artiste. or whatever.
& just one more: i am not complete. praise God. i am a work in progress. i am created; i am still in the process of being created. and no matter how hard i try, i cannot be the Creator. i am not in charge. and in the rare moments when i'm in my right mind, i am grateful for that.