ask any mom: it's always in the car.
today, as we drove home from a birthday party, luke was discussing his snack options for when he got home. since he had, in the last two hours, consumed pizza, chips, candy, popsicles, cake, and ice cream (what a party!), the options were limited: carrot sticks, cereal, sandwich, etc. it was a reasonable enough discussion, and then it was over.
then a moment of silence.
then, "mama, since tomorrow's sunday, can we go to the grave where eliza is buried?"
it's always in the car.
i'm not sure what makes him think of her in the car--is it the empty seat next to him? the fact that he's no longer in charge of reporting vomiting incidents?--but on the rare occasion when eliza comes up, it's almost always in the car. and out of the blue, too.
i can't remember the last time we talked about eliza's grave. the last time luke was there was her birthday in january. honestly, neither sam nor i feel particularly compelled to go very often, either; i think we've each gone once in the months since january, and neither of us returned from the visit feeling much like we'd like to go back. so i have no clue where luke got the idea to go tomorrow, "because it's sunday."
but go we will, tomorrow. with flowers, because luke thought that was a good idea. in fact, he suggested we plant some seeds today so they would sprout in time, and if not by tomorrow, then by monday, he was sure. which would be an okay day for a visit, he thought, since eliza was buried on a monday.
i think we'll go tomorrow.
1 comment:
crying now. i love you. and am sending hugs from the west. i hope you feel them.
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